Holiday Hangover

14000km later I'm home, I took my annual motorcycle vacation snaking my way from Alberta to the tip of Cape Cod, back through eastern Canada and hundreds of back road destinations inbetween. The one thing about motorcycling is there is a lot of thought time alone in one's head as you travel along. The scenery is always changing but everywhere I go I take me. The visual of someone in full leather on a Harley conjures up a lot of perceptions about a person but when I'd get to talking to another motorcyclist the stories gravitated towards the same thing; we have a need to belong,cherish security, to feel safe and content within our own skin. There were times I was totally ok being out there on the road then the time comes where you simply need the interaction and conversation of another human being; I tried to figure that one out but never came up with an answer. I've tried to be a lone wolf on the road and I'm not, I've tried to be a this or a that and if it's not really me it doesn't last. I found the less complicated I kept the trip the better things seemed to turn out, which in retrospect had nothing to do with the trip at all. I found that now that my youngest has graduated high school, with all my children out on their own, doing well and making their own stories, this change of life is ovewheliming and perplexing; shouldn't there be this sense of freedom that being unemcumbered brings, shouldn't my male bravado say I'm glad their gone, but where did the time go, should I stay in the house I live in;do I need 4 bedrooms for one person?I really wonder what now? I guess like the trip, just keep it simple, let things fall into place, don't plan the results and learn to embrace the change; all through my life change has been scary but everytime I look back it's always for the best. As I unloaded the last of my riding gear, my daughter and her fiance unexpectedly showed up, I gave her a hug and to myself I thought, "yeah", you're still my little girl, albeit a full grown woman in university, still feels good to hug you. I've spent the last few days catching up, letting things fall into place, taking my time with some of the thoughts that will affect the future, but we'll see where it all takes me. Robert.