The blonde blue eyed girl

This past while it seems I have had a tasteless existence, nothing inspiring, fleeting moments of inspiration, then they disappear. I have been beating myself up with thoughts of "I really don't have much of a life", so what can I blog about? I've had this chest cold that keeps hanging on, the physiotherapist was not impressed at my rationalization of speeding up my recovery, people were not driving the way they should, everything seemed to be a trudge. What always has worked in the past is putting one foot in front of the other and acting "as if", even though I don't really want to. There were moments where I acted "as if" I really cared, empathized, tried showing brotherly love, tried being polite, yet there was that underlying feeling of "like I care", but somehow I knew there would be a moment that would get me out of myself and I could become the person my neighbors dog thinks I am. Walking off the mats last Thursday, one of the "Tiny Tigers" waves me over, then in the softest kindest voice "Here, I drew this for you". It was a picture of me in uniform; the detail; the stripes on my belt, the swollen hand, stubble on top of my head instead of hair, an expression on the characters face of how I've been feeling the last few days, all with the attempted position of me doing a form, from the eyes of a 5 year old. The hardness I carried around for the last few days melted away, I laughed so hard I almost cried, but what a release. I knelt down, gave her a hug and said "thank you", I wasn't able to explain all of the above, but as I watched this little blue eyed blonde girl bounce away, I was so greatful that my prayers had been answered. The rest of the night felt like I had a shower on the inside, all from a moment of kindness that a small child was able express through a simple drawing. The next day I was able to appreciate things in a more positive light, my attitude and actions towards all those around me were somewhat softer, more positive and although its a few days later I wonder if it was all meant to happen as it did, just when I needed it most. So thank you Miss Teagan for getting me out of me.